


The Line of Purple

by mybigfatcat



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 19:58:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15956444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybigfatcat/pseuds/mybigfatcat
Summary: It’s humid, the air is sticky against the skin. The sheets are clinging, the fabric like chains around his limbs. It’s like running uphill, or like swimming with your clothes on. It’s hot and messy and Jin doesn’t think he can come like this.





	The Line of Purple

**Author's Note:**

> _The line of purple(s)_ is, in color theory, the name of the line on the CIE chromaticity diagram between the most vivid red and violet colors. This is where true purple exist.
> 
> Dear recipient, I really hope you like this take on what could have happened. You asked for (amongst other things) revelations and slow understandings, and I hope this satisfies your wishes at least a little bit :)
> 
> Thank you to my beta, and thank you to the mods who brilliantly makes this exchange happen.
> 
> Prompt: _If everything is spinning, that means the world is changing._ (A line from Kame’s song “Follow Me”).

-

 

_**Tokyo, 2009** _

 

It’s humid, the air is sticky against the skin. The sheets are clinging, the fabric like chains around his limbs. It’s like running uphill, or like swimming with your clothes on. It’s hot and messy and Jin doesn’t think he can come like this. It hasn’t felt _good_ for minutes now and his lower back is starting to hurt as much as his thighs. The feeling of sweat slicked skin against skin is more annoying than sexy. He really doesn’t feel sexy right now. It feels... off.

It doesn’t seem like Kamenashi will be able to come either.

Especially not after he suddenly stalls the pace of his thrusts and just holds on to Jin’s hips for a bit.

Jin turns his head so he can look back at Kamenashi.

“When did your landlord say he’d have the AC fixed?”

Kamenashi flinches a bit, as if he’d forgotten Jin was in the room. Jin frowns, you’d think a guy would at least remember your existence when he’s balls deep inside of you. It takes a few seconds for Kamenashi to zero in on Jin’s face, to school his face into some semblance of cool indifference. As if it hadn’t been lit with dozen emotions that Jin can’t decipher just a second ago.

“I told you that today was a bad day for me,” Kamenashi says, as if he hadn’t placed his hand securely on Jin’s upper thigh in the elevator that morning. As if he hadn’t given Jin _that_ look.

Jin shifts his weight from one arm ot the other. His elbows are sore. So are his knees. And the pain in his back hasn’t stopped even though Kamenashi’s cock moving inside him has. He just wanted to know if Kamenashi plans on getting on with it or if he’s gonna be doing this until Jin’s legs start cramping. He doesn’t want to get blamed for this. Fuck this.

“I need to pee,” Jin says.

“It’s too humid and hot to do this anyway,” Kamenashi says before pulling out.

 

If Jin is going to be completely honest the sex they have hasn’t been consistently good for six months. At least. It annoys him, more often than not, how Kamenashi gets defensive about it, how _he_ gets defensive. How when Kamenashi comes it’s a relief more often than not, and how his own orgasms sometimes feel forced and anticlimactic. It annoys him that they never talk.

Yet he never tries to talk to Kamenashi either.

Maybe this is what years and years of being sex buddies will do to you. Maybe it only lasts until it gets tired and old, and then you move on.

Jin never tries to talk to Kamenashi, and he never stops coming over to Kamenashi apartment either. So he only has himself to blame, really, for standing alone in Kamenashi shower, jerking off because he couldn’t come earlier. And when he finally comes it’s with pleasure and anger mixed up in one toxic cocktail.

He doesn’t know why, but it stays with him. It stays with him all the way through blow drying his hair, and getting back into his clothes that Kamenashi has left folded on the bed.

It flares up extra hot when he sees Kamenashi’s back in the small kitchen. He’s drinking water from a bottle.

“So, see you tomorrow?” Jin says. Kamenashi barely reacts.

“Yeah,” he says, and turns to face Jin.

His face is still pretty blank. Jin frowns again and pulls up the hood on his hoodie. Fidgets a bit with it.

Jin finds himself wondering if this is healthy, even though he’s never cared. But seeing Kamenashi today has made him feel like shit. He thinks that this might not be the first time this has happened lately.

He’s out of the kitchen and out of the front door before Kamenashi can see how Jin’s face is anything but free from expression.

 

The next time they meet for sex, again in Kamenashi’s apartment, the AC works. So when Kamenashi has come, and Jin stops him from giving him a handjob, he can’t blame the humidity.

“You don’t have to,” he says. 

Kamenashi looks at his face, scanning for something to analyze. Jin thinks he mostly just looks as tired as he feels, because he really is tired. And his thighs hurt like a bitch after riding Kamenashi earlier. Even though Jin doesn’t say a word to blame Kamenashi, Kamenashi still stiffens with anger and takes his hand off of Jin’s cock as if it has burnt him.

It’s explosive in the way they haven’t been for a while, the way Kamenashi goes from post-orgasmic bliss to “well screw you, Akanishi!”

“Hey,” Jin tries, but Kamenashi is already up, grabbing for tissues on the bedside table to wipe off some of the lube and come on his soft cock.

Jin tries again anyway. Even though he knows that he should know where this is going.

“Just let me breathe for a minute.”

Kamenashi turns back to face him quicker than any turn he’s ever done on stage.

“ _Screw. You. Akanishi_ ,” he says, and this time he really does look angry, and not just indifferent.

 

It had started like this. They had just finished the last encore of their last concert of a tour. The Tokyo Dome had been filled with light, smoke and the sounds of the screaming audience and pyrotechnics. He’d been drenched in sweat, his throat warm and tight. Kamenashi had not pulled away when he had grabbed him by the wrist, and somehow they had both just known.

The sex had been amazing, mind blowing, super awesome, which meant that Jin, however shortsighted it might’ve been, did not end it right away. He didn’t tell Kamenashi that “I have loads of stuff to do so I wont be able to catch up with you for a while,” and he didn’t let the attraction fade. Not then at least. They never spoke about it, there were no rules, and he regularly stayed around in Kamenashi’s apartment after, or before, sex. Jin invited Kamenashi to private rooms in night clubs together with the gang, and sometimes Kamenashi joined them. Kamenashi invited him to restaurants, to small parties with his friends, and sometimes Jin went too. They still argued at work, Jin was still feeling like the odd one out in the group, and Kamenashi still didn’t tell Jin that they all felt like the odd one out.

That’s how it had started, and kept going, and now Jin wonders if this is how it ends. With half-spoken feelings, angry partings, and... nothing.

It seemingly doesn’t matter that Jin and Kamenashi have avoided tabloid photographers and the management for this long, only for the fruits of their efforts to slowly evaporate into nothing. At least that’s what he tells himself as Tomo pours him a drink.

“I’ve told you five hundred times by now, if you’re gonna be in a relationship then you have to be prepared to put in a bit of an effort,” Tomo says and puts the whiskey bottle down on the coffee table. Jin takes the filled glass that Tomo holds out to him.

“Since when did you become the relationship expert?” Jin asks and takes a sip of the smoky and golden whiskey. It burns ever so slightly as it goes down, but it’s a good heat, a warming heat. He gets why Tomo had brought a bottle of whiskey instead of a case of cold beer, even though it’s been 40 degrees celsius outside today.

“Aha! So you admit that you’re in a relationship with Kazu-chan!” Tomo exclaims, pointing at Jin with his own glass. He’s like a kid, bouncing on the couch with glee. Jin is not as amused.

“Call it what you want. It’s not like I’ve ever been able to stop you from doing anything.”

“Then I say you’ve been dating Kazu-chan for years now and that you’re both too hard-headed to deal with that simple fact,” Tomo says, and Jin sighs.

If they’ve been dating, then they’ve surely broken up by now.

Jin has tried calling, tried texting, he’s tried grabbing Kamenashi at work, but nothing has worked. Kamenashi doesn’t want to talk to him. Kamenashi has used every trick available to avoid him.

Tomo looks at him and shakes his head. He’s always had an uncanny ability to figure out what goes on inside of Jin’s head.

“I know what you’re thinking, and it just proves my point,” Tomo says.

“Can, like, two guys really be in a relationship with each other though?” Jin asks a bit hesitantly. There, he’s said it, it’s out in the open.

Tomo blinks once and then twice, before taking a swig of his drink before putting the glass down.

“Jin, you can be in a relationship with whoever you want to be, you can date boys or girls and older men or older women, and it’d all be cool. I have an older second cousin who, to be fair is the black sheep of the family, BUT he’s been living with the same guy for over a decade and they’ve got small dogs and call them their kids and they’re disgustingly sweet to each other. Now tell me that that’s not you and Kamenashi. You two are basically a gay couple already,” Tomo argues.

Even if he doesn’t appreciate being described as disgustingly sweet, he thinks that Tomo has a point. Jin just hasn’t looked at it that way before. Tomo watches him, and Jin shrugs in reply.

“You know what, I’ll call him, and when he answers I’ll just hand the phone over to you.” Tomo is not impressed with Jin’s attitude, that’s for sure.

“And then what?” Jin asks. It annoys him how all his friends try to act like stuff like this is easy to deal with. He hasn’t gotten a single useful advice all week, and Tomo’s plan sounds even worse than what Nakamaru had told him after a meeting at the agency.

Nakamaru had pulled him aside, looked him straight in the eyes, and said “fix it,” which wasn’t helpful at all. It was counterproductive even, because Jin knew something had to be done, but he didn’t really know what the problem was. In order to know what to do, he had to know what had gone wrong. And that list is potentially as long as Tokyo Tower because if they’ve really been in a relationship without Jin realizing then every move he’s made has been based on a completely faulty assumption.

If it hasn’t all been about getting off, then what has it been about?

Tomo has already gotten his flip-phone out of his pocket, he’s already going through his list of contacts.

“I don’t know Jin, for fucks sake you’ve dated a few girls. Figure something out. Just don’t say you’re sorry,” Tomo says and dials a number, “because you can’t even figure out what you did to piss your boyfriend off.”

“For the last time, he’s not my bo-”

“It’s calling.” Tomo shushes him with a hand held up, and the cell phone tightly pressed to his ear.

Only after the panicked flurry of movement and gesturing and silent screaming at each other that happens before Jin takes the phone as says hi, Jin realizes that it’s almost 3 am.

“Ehm...” Jin says into the phone while trying to get away from Tomo who insists on following Jin into his bedroom so he can eavesdrop on their conversation. Jin has to shut the door between them.

“Hello? Yamashita?” Kamenashi asks. Said Yamashita Tomohisa is currently pusing on the bedroom door so that Jin has to put all his weight into it staying closed.

“Yamashita? Are you alright? There’s a lot of noise coming from your end,” Kamenashi says and Jin remembers to panic. He also remembers that he has to say something before Kamenashi thinks that Tomo is some kind of sex pervert prank caller.

“Uh, it’s me, Jin,” he manages to say as Tomo stops pushing so hard, probably because he’s laughing his ass off on the other side of the door.

“Akanishi?” Kamenashi asks.

Shit, Jin thinks, because by the sound of Kamenashi’s voice he’s not overjoyed by this call. Of course it could be the simple fact that it is in the middle of the night.

Jin clears his throat and can relax now that his traitorous best _friend_ has stopped trying to help, or sabotage, him.

“That Jin, yes. I really wanted to talk to you,” Jin says. It causes no immediate reaction, but after a moment he can clearly hear sheets rustling and a sigh through the phone. Since Kamenashi hasn’t hung up Jin decides to press on.

“I mean... I miss you,” he says, sightly surprised by his own confession, and Kamenashi, the second traitor of the night, laughs.

Jin bristles, tenses and is ready to hang up before Kamenashi gets an opportunity to. This is beyond Jin’s dignity, he has principles. Jin is a good looking guy, he can get laid anytime, and he can go on dates with pretty girls. He doesn’t deserve getting laughed at by a guy that’s had him all possible ways. It’s really shitty of Kamenashi to laugh when Jin, okay Tomo did dial the number, calls in good faith and tells him that he misses Kamenashi. At the very least-

“I miss you too, you annoying bastard,” Kamenashi suddenly says, his voice deep and warm through the phone. Jin feels a shiver run all the way through his body. Fuck, he really has missed this, missed how it can be so easy between them.

“So,” Jin pauses in order to swallow and save himself from the embarrassment of choking on his own tongue, “you should, you know, get over here. So we can miss each other together.”

Kamenashi laughs again, but Jin recognizes the laugh now, the lovingly bemused laughter that Kamenashi only does when he and Jin are alone. Jin wonders how many things like this that he has missed, completely failed to analyze the cause of, through their years of friendship and... whatever else this has been.

“I would if I knew where you lived,” Kamenashi says, and Jin releases a breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding.

“I’ll text you, okay? Just get here,” Jin replies in a hurry as he pulls his bedroom door open and nearly stumbles on Tomo who has sat down on the floor. Jin gives him a look that he hopes is appropriately angry, and starts pulling Tomo in the direction of the front door.

“Okay. Okay I’ll come,” Kamenashi says with what sounds like a shaky determination.

It’ll have to do, because Jin knows that if Tomo, and Shirota, and Nakamaru, and Koki, and, well all of them, are right then Kamenashi will for sure show up.

 

Jin pushes Tomo out of the door, whiskey bottle in one hand, shoes in the other.

“Did he tell you to fuck off? Did he say he loves you? What happened?! Jin!”

“Ssssh!” Jin holds the whiskey bottle while Tomo steps into his leather boots outside the door. Tomo whines a bit and gives Jin the stinky eye for not telling him.

The hallway is empty and the hallway down to the elevator is only lit by a few small wall-mounted lamps here and there. This is an expensive building, with thick doors, and neighbors with better things to do than to care about Jin’s 3 am guests. Still, it feels like someone could be listening behind every door.

“I’ll tell you some other time, okay?” Jin says and gives the whiskey bottle back to Tomo before closing the door. He can swear he hears his friend swear and stomp off in a fit of anger.

Jin barely remembers texting Kamenashi his address.

With Tomo out of the apartment, and soon out of the building, Jin realizes that he has no idea what he’s going to do, or say, or what he’s gotten himself into really. He has a hunch though, a small tingle behind his ribs.

A tingle that stays with him and the butterflies in his stomach through the thirty minutes he has to wait until Kamenashi arrives. He’s been alternating between throwing himself on the couch and circling his tiny living room, hoping the high from being overtired and a bit tipsy from downing the rest of his drink will wear off.

He almost jumps out of his own skin when his doorbell rings, and he pulls at the collar of his T-shirt to let the air conditioned atmosphere do it’s thing and cool his neck and chest. He can feel beads of sweat already forming on his upper lip and his forehead.

Kamenashi looks like he always does when he’s not working. He stands there in his jeans and his white tee, his flip flop sandals and the sunglass and bucket hat combo are new. It’s still warm outside, the concrete and asphalt conserving the heat of the daytime. Jin figures Kamenashi is smarter than Tomo when it comes choice of footwear. Jin is staring.

“Uh, come in,” he says, and Kamenashi smiles a smile that tells Jin that he is amused.

Kamenashi shrugs when Jin gestures for him to keep moving inside the apartment after he’s stepped out of his flip flops. Jin has somehow lost all his guest slippers, that he has stolen from hotel rooms, anyway. Nishikido is prime suspect.

What Jin doesn’t really expect is for Kamenashi to put a hand against his chest and push him down on the couch.

“Kamenashi?”

Kamenashi gives him a _look_.

“Kame?” Jin tries again. He receives a soft smile in return.

“I just thought... with all things considered, that we do better together than we do apart,” Kame says and lowers himself to his knees, snugly positioned between Jin’s legs. Jin’s mouth goes completely dry when Kame reaches for the waist of his sweatpants. Some wriggling later, in order to help Kame pull his pants and underwear down, his cock is in Kame’s warm hand. And then it’s in Kame’s warm mouth and Jin can’t stop the moan that breaks free from deep inside his chest. It rises up through his throat and out between his lips and mingles with the wet sounds of Kame licking down the side of his hardening cock.

“We do,” Jin breathes out, “so much better,” and by the time he’s managed to say it he’s is fully hard and his erection is down Kame’s throat. It’s so intense, and it makes every muscle in his body strain and tense. Jin sits slumped in the couch, his head thrown back against the backrest, while Kame expertly works his cock. Licks and sucks until Jin can’t even spell his own name anymore. Then Jin comes, his orgasm blinding him with intensity.

Kame flops down on the couch next to Jin, pulling Jin to the side and kisses him silly while his brain is still muddled from coming. This is old Kame, the guy Jin, apparently, fell in love with. He’s confident, he’s not afraid to take things from Jin, and Jin doesn’t mind giving when he knows that he gets something in return. This is how they used to be, but now Jin’s heart is also in his throat, and Kame’s hand is shaking against his cheek.

“Did I ever say that I really like you Kamenashi Kazuya,” Jin says when they break apart to breathe.

“You fucking know you haven’t,” Kame says with a laugh and stands, “but I think I knew somehow anyway. I was just afraid to find out.”

“Coming?” Kame then asks and holds out a hand towards Jin. Jin with his heart beating like crazy in his chest, flushed and sweaty and with his hair a complete mess while Kame stands in front of him looking completely perfect, stands too and follows Kame to the bedroom with a big smile on his face.

He sure comes again later, with Kame’s hand on his erection and Kame’s cock in his ass. Jin comes while on his back, his body arched and his hands twisted in the sheets. Jin thinks, no he knows, that this is how bliss feels like, how he wants to spend every night. He pulls Kame down for a kiss, and whines from oversensitivity, but also happiness, as Kame chases his own orgasm.

 

Maybe it’s the soft breaths against his skin that wakes him up, or the sounds of traffic below on the street, or the new feeling of holding Kame while he sleeps. But when he’s opened his eyes, tiredly squinting down at Kamenashi head lying on his arm, he realizes it’s because of the light in the room. It’s a warm light, and it’s somehow made its way to his bedroom from behind the other tall apartment buildings on his street.

Jin gets up on one elbow, slowly so that he doesn’t wake Kame up. Outside his bedroom window, the sky is pale and grey, like a typical Tokyo morning. But when he raises himself a little higher off the bed he sees the sunrise. It’s orange and pink, but what makes him go wide-eyed is the purple clouds soaring far above the horizon.

Purple, he thinks to himself, and has to stifle a laugh.

In a worn out notebook lying in his bag there’s a page with the title _Murasaki_ , and even if the lyrics scribbled on that page are a bit sad, he now thinks that he knows what that color feels like. He knows exactly what the lyrics ought to be.

“Kamenashi,” he whispers and slowly gets his arm free, “Kazuya.”

It takes a moment, but then he can see the exact moment that Kame wakes up even if his eyes remains closed.

“Wanna see something cool?” Jin asks, and Kazuya looks up at him.

The plan had of course been to show him the sunrise, but Jin just can’t help himself, can’t stop himself from kissing Kame deep and hard. Can’t help that Kame looks so incredibly cute when he wakes up. He can’t help that the look on Kame’s face as he comes into Jin’s mouth is definitely more attention-grabbing than a sunrise. No matter how fluffy those purple clouds were.

 

Everything had spun into place and the world had changed.

 

-


End file.
